After many months of stress, tears and anger, I can finally leave….with the kids.  Thursday was our first hearing and after sitting on court for 2 hours, sweating bullets, our lawyers were called back into chambers and temporary orders were hammered out, giving me some money to move myself and the kids out of this horrible situation.  There’s a lot of backstory….a lot that will never be aired in public, but let me tell you, I’m glad to finally have a little freedom.

I will forever be in debt to my oldest sister, who came all the way up here from So. Cal to help me during my wild 3 days of packing.  Yes, the moment the deal was made, I rushed home and starting packing our things.  Most of my stuff was already in boxes, but we still had the kids things and the horrible division of household items to complete.  We packed like crazy Thursday afternoon and night and finished up on Friday morning before picking up the rental truck and moving everything into my 7′x7′ storage unit.  Yes, everything fit…barely.

The kids and I are spending the next week at my mom’s house in Southern California.  I need some downtime to help with the stress of the last year.  I’ve already warned my mom that I will probably be a blubbering mass of emotion when I hit her house…We’ll see.  I’m bringing a stack of mindless mysteries to read and there will be lots of play time with the kids and maybe some boxing on my sister’s Wii. 

I’m hoping that with my mom’s help, we can teach Wynter how to play Candyland while we’re there.  The girl is SOOOOOO into colors right now.  I think she’d love that game, once she got used to the whole turn-taking concept.

Afterwards, who knows where we’ll be.  I’m taking 1 day at at time….

Prayers and happy thoughts are always welcomed…..

My friends and family will tell you that I have a pretty strong stomach.  The nastiness of  parenthood usually never phases me.  I’ve changed my share of dirty sheets, cleaned up plenty of “accidents” from the carpet and been peed (and pooped) on multiple times. 

But yes, there are times that even I am grossed out.  Tonight was one of those moment:

We had just sat down to dinner.  The kids sat at their table in the playroom, eating while watching Dora.  I had just finished heating up my tamales in the microwave and was on my way to the recliner about 5 feet away from the kids, plate in hand.  That’s when I noticed Julian was eating something brown.  

At first, I thought, “Good.  Julian’s eating his dinner.”  A split-second later, I realized something: I didn’t serve anything BROWN for dinner!  I stopped, turned and gave the boy a much closer inspection.  That’s when I noticed the dirty diaper….the diaper I had just changed 5 minutes before….the dirty diaper he was about to dip his fingers into!

Yes, ladies and gents, you can already guess what he was eating.  Say it with me…”EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I immediately dropped my plate on the floor, scooped up the kid and dumped him into the kitchen sink, where he received an impromptu bath.  He wasn’t too thrilled with the idea; he wanted to continue his feast and didn’t appreciate me interrupting him.  After plenty of hot water and anti-bacterial soap, I rediapered him and sent back to his real dinner.

Let me tell you, that was the end of dinner for me.  My stomach is still turning at the thought of what he was eating instead of his dinner.  After the bath, I proceeded to disinfect the sink and myself with antibacterial soap and bleach.  And still….my skin crawls.

Sometimes, I wonder about Julian.  Does that boy have ANY taste buds at all?  *shudder shudder shudder*

Rob’s gone on a 4-day business trip to FL.  While he’s gone (and the house is less tense), I’m working on potty training Wynter. 

The timer is set for 15 minutes and I’m pouring liquid down the girl like never before, to keep her “going”.  Yes, there’s already been accidents….poor poor carpet.  Most of them has been ON THE WAY to the bathroom after she told me she had to go, so there is progress.

It looks like I’ll be cleaning the carpet in the playroom this weekend….  *sigh*

Since the kids decided to be nice to one another tonight, and not start thier nightly bickering after dinner, I had a chance to go through the rest of the pictures on the camera.  These were all taken in the last month, and by some miracle, many are of the two kids together!

Every morning, after I comb Wynter’s hair.  Afterwards, I give her the comb to go comb J’s hair or some stuffed animal.  That morning, she tried to comb Julian’s hair.  As you can see, he wanted the comb.

This taken right before storytime, as you can guess by the book in Wynter’s hands.  I love J’s look of, “Well, come on!”

I watched Julian empty out the box that we usually store the foam blocks in and carefully climb in, all without his sister noticing.  Once she did notice him in there, she giggled and started piling blocks on top of him!  They were having a good old time when I grabbed my camera.

Tonight was a first for the kids: they ate at their table together without squabbling or getting up prematurely.  We hadn’t tried this in months, mainly becuase Julian would grab for Wynter’s plate, completely pissing her off.  After watching him try to topple over his little booster seat yesterday, I decided it was time to upgrade him to the big kid table.  It was a great success….

And since the boy will be 17 months tomorrow, here are the obligatory pictures of Julian:

“How do you put this on again, ma?”

Mama’s Favorite Picture - Smilie Face!

With the arrival of June came the end of Wynter’s therapy, atleast for this school year.  We receive speech and OT services through the local school district, and the preschool program that runs the therapy follows the typical school year calendar.

There’s good and bad sides to this. 

Good:  I don’t have to schlep Wynter to therapy twice a week and work hard to keep J entertained while we wait.
Bad: Wynter’s not getting the therapy she needs.

Oh well….life is full of good and bad, right?

So, I’m working hard to keep Wynter’s therapy going on our own.  Our last OT gave us a sensory diet, which I have posted on the fridge and we try to do one or two things from it a day.  There’s a lot of roughhousing in the afternoon.  We try to do some work with the exercise ball, including her laying on the ball and me rolling her back and forth, side to side and all around.  We also do a lot of cuddling and pressure touching, especially when she’s having a bad day. 

The biggest change in Wynter has been her sudden love for spinning.  She used to HATE to spin, even when in my arms in the chair and we do it slow.  All of a sudden now, she LOVES it.  I guess it helps that Julian figured out what spinning was.  They both love to do the “may pole”, where each take one of my hands and we spin around, with Mama being the May pole.  I can’t do too much of that….I get WAAAAAY too dizzy, thank you.  Plus, after a few turns at it, Julian will start to let go of my hand and stagger off like a drunk, usually running into things in the proccess.  LOL

Bubbles are great, though Julian gets a bit too excited about them after a few minutes and starts running into his sister, giggling.  I don’t get that one at all.  It seems to be a Julian thing: he gets too excited and doesn’t quite know how to let it out, so he lashes out.  He’s bitten me once and Rob a few times just becuase he got overexcited during playtime.  At bubbletime, he just runs full speed into Wynter, giggling the whole time.  Of course, Wynter HATES this…I don’t blame her!  We usually have to remind him to “Be nice!” and sometimes, I’ve had to restrain him, just to get him to calm down.  After a while, he usually gets bored and wanders off…oh well!

We play ball a lot…and I mean a LOT.  A ball could be flung at you at anytime, with no warning.  LOL  Wynter has become a good thrower, though her catching sucks.  She can pick up the big exercise ball and set it bouncing off towards a target.  They both also love to have that big ball roll into them…thankfully, it’s deflated a bit so it’s like hitting a big airbag.  Julian absolutely LOVES it when we set it bouncing…he runs TOWARDS it and sometimes has been caught UNDER it.  Gives Mama a heart attack but he doesn’t even blink when it plows him down to the floor.  Geez…boys!

The kids love to play chase a lot.  Usually, it’s Wynter running ahead, toy in hand, and Julian running/staggering after her, both giggling up a storm.  They reinacted the “rolling boulder” scene from the Indian Jones’ movie a few weeks ago.  They started in the washroom, Wynter pushing the ball and Julian running ahead, giggling and screeching.  They progressed all the way through the house until they reached the playroom, where Wynter turned the ball around and returned it to the washroom.  They must have repeated it a few times before getting bored and running off to some other activity.

Wynter also loves to play on our huge bean bag.  May a times, I’ve seen her roll down it and thunk to the floor.  A moment later, she’s right back up there, giggling and playing.  Quite a sight, considering that she wouldn’t do that 3 months ago!  They also like to race to the top and when it’s floofed to it’s full height of 3.5 feet, Wynter climbs to the top like a rock climber!  She likes to sit and bounce on it quite a bit, yelling, “JUMP!  JUMP!  JUMP!”  I try not to watch them when they play on the foof….my heart would give out from the stress of watching my babies rough house on there.

Wynter’s speech continues to improve.  Just recently, she’s taken to the habit of telling me, “I don’t know.” when I ask her a question.

“Wynter?  Where’s Julian’s sippy?”
“I really don’t know, Mama.”

Many times a day, she climbs to the top of the bean bag and yells at me, “LOOK, MAMA!!  I climbed UP!”  And she’ll keep repeating that until you stop and tell her, “Yes, Wynter.  I see!  You climbed up!”

If I sneeze or blow my nose, I get asked, “Are you alright, Mamamamamamama?”  And no, that’s not a mistake.  She goes, “Mamamamamamama” at the end of that sentence ALL.THE.TIME.  And you have to wait her out….you have to wait until she’s done saying all of her Ma’s, and then answer her.  Otherwise, she won’t hear you and then ask it all over again!  We’ve had a few colds wander through the house in the last month, so you can gues I’ve been asked this WAAAAAAAY too many times.  LOL

She’s finally willing to repeat words you say.  If she brings me something, I always identify it and she usually repeats it and we go back and forth until she pronounces it correctly.  She has a hard time with complicated descriptions, like “big blue ball”, leaving one of the words out but that’s fixable.  Just have to get her to slow down a little. 

Wynter’s attention span has extended far enough for us to enjoy a complete picture book or two before she’s had enough.  We’re currently working out way through the Clifford the Big Red Dog books my sisters sent up to me, reading 2 a night.  Wynter’s brain seems to work at 2 times the normal speed, so sweet, short stories seem best for her now.  When I branch out to slightly longer books, she starts to get bored and wanders off.  Julian suddenly LOVES to be read to and will sit with us the whole time, looking at the pictures and paying attention, where a month ago, he had no interest at all.

I have a few plans for the summer, including weekly outings (now that I’ve got wheels, thanks to my sister letting me borrow their 3rd car), following Wynter’s sensory diet, and continuing Wynter’s speech development.  Should be interested, shouldn’t it?

PS - talking about speech, Julian’s new word is Uh-oh!  He says it in such a gutteral tone, I swear it’s a caveman saying it.  LOL 

As you all know, this has been a difficult month for me.  I just haven’t been in the mood to come to my blog and try to act as though there’s nothing wrong.  Most of these pictures were taken before all of this mess happened and I just couldn’t bring myself to open up my camera and look at them.

After beating myself up for the last week, I decided it was time to get off my aft and get it done.  So, I hope you enjoy these pictures…

Anne

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Julian -

No, Aunt Christy, this is not a picture of ME as a kid.  This is actually Julian.  I promise.  ((My sister once asked my mother why I was posting pictures of myself on the blog and my mom had to inform her that no, those were pictures of my kids! LOL))  ONe of these days, I’m gonna have to crack open the pictures and drag out my baby pictures to show how much of “me” that poor boy received.  

Julian LOVES spoons.  You’ll usually find him walking around the house, plastic spoon in mouth, chewing.  I buy the bulk packages of toss away baby spoons just for him, since he’s constantly losing them.  I even have a plastic spoon in the diaper bag and two wandering the car, for those moments he’s got to have something to chew on while we’re out.

That’s breakfast infront of him (soft bananas incrusted in cherrios) and he’s trying to eat with a spoon, without much success.  He’d scoop up food but would lose the food a few inches from the food.  Then he’s pick up the food with his hands, put it in his mouth and then follow it with the spoon.  Yeah, he gets the idea….he just doesn’t have the eye-hand coordination yet. 

Julian received his 1st haircut a few days after we returned from Gma’s house (we visited my family in So Cal for a week around Mother’s Day).  I made sure to take a “before picture”, between his bath and the actual haircutting:

This was a home haircut, thanks to my electric clippers.  I just used the 1/4″ attachment and buzzed it all off.  He did very well, considering that there was the buzzing appliance being rubbed all over his head.  He never once cried or looked scared.  He just wanted to watch what I was doing, which made doing the back very very hard (he kept turning around to see what I was doing to him). 

Here’s how he looked right afterwards:

I personally think he looks so much better with it cut.  His hair was so long, it was actually knotting up in the back!  Didn’t help that he considers his hair as his “napkin”.  While at my mom’s house, we kept threatening to spike his hair…he just needed a little styling gel!  As you can see, we didn’t …. but man, was it tempting!

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Wynter -

Talkign about hair, have you seen Wynter’s lately?

I promise, cross my heart and hope to die, I did comb her hair that morning! 

Her hair has a mind of its own.  Every morning, we sit down and I mythodically comb her hair, parting it to the side so it looks right.  Within an hour or so, her hair is standing on end, frazzled or just looking ratty.  Probably a trip to a salon would help it look better, but I can’t put myself or her through that much trauma (she hates even me or her father touching her hair).

Wynter walked up to me and said matter-of-factly, “I’m going to work.  Bye-bye, Mama!” and walked off towards the back door.  Thankfully, the back door was lock because I swear, she’d head out the door to work if she could have!

Wynter drinks a LOT of liquid.  This is a common pose for her…and yes, that means a LOT of diaper changes.  I can’t wait for her to be potty trained!

Wynter fell asleep on my mom’s floor during our visit.  I picked her up, and after a quick cuddle, laid her on the couch, where she’s be more comfortable and the dogs wouldn’t bug her.  Isn’t she adorable?

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Together -

Taking a picture of the kids together is almost impossible these days.  As you can see from the picture below, I either have one or the other’s attention, but never both:

And some days, I’m ignored completely!

(I’m going to post very sporatically over the next few months while I deal with things around here.  Call it a…”semi-hiatus”.  It’s important to me to keep on documenting things going on around here for the kids.  Come back soon…I’ve got this last month’s pictures to post today or tomorrow.  Anne)

The kids and I met up with a friend and her son at the mall to eat lunch and enjoy the little playground.  I ordered lunch at the chinese place in the food court: a plate with 3 selections and noodles.  The kids were really hungry and complaining the whole way to the table, so the moment we sat down, I gave them both a broccoli spear from my plate.  Wynter immediately started taking chunks out of the floret part while Julian busied himself with trying to eat the whole spear at one time.

My friend was surprised that my 1 year old and especially my 3 year old were digging that brocolli like they were.  She pointed out to her son, who is also three, “See?  She eats green stuff!”  LOL 

So, yes, my kids eat vegetables. 

Wynter LOVES brussell sprouts, but only the way I make them (roasted in the oven until they’re slightly tender) and will fight you over brocolli.  When we were visiting my mom a few weeks ago, we always knew Wynter would eat the vegetables….ALWAYS.  She just about wrestled my plate away from me a couple months ago when she realized there was brocolli on it.  I had to get her her own bowl (she and her brother had already eaten) filled with brocolli.  To our surprise, she sat down with us and ate the whole 1/2 cup of brocolli!

Julian is a big fruit eater.  That’s nothing new….he LOVES sweets so of course, fruit would be his thing.  He’ll still eat veggies, but not as ravinously as Wynter.  The boy is still in that stage of eating EVERYTHING (leaves, dirt, rocks, etc.), but foodwise, he’s starting to decide what he likes and doesn’t like.  Sometimes, it takes a few tastes (he spits it out and reloads it multiple times), which is just gross to watch.  If he likes it, he eats it, and if he doesn’t like it, it goes to the floor, along with anything on his tray that looks remotely like what he just ate.

I helped Wynter into her shirt this morning.  When we were done, she chimed up with, “Good job, Mama!”

Julian has figured out how to spin on his butt….quite entertaining to watch when he stops spinning. 

June 9th would have been 7 years.  7 long years filled with ups and down, good and bad.  THe two greatest treasures in my life, my kids, came out of our marriage.

7 long years, down the drain….  *sigh*

This last year has been hell.  I’ve kept it hidden well, haven’t I?  But it’s all out now.  I’ve been denying it for the longest time, trying to wait him out, trying to see if I would wake up from this bad dream.  But no, it’s real: He’s been interested in someone else for a year now. 

I’m spending my Sunday sorting out what’s him and what’s mine.  Lots of memories going into those boxes.  I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to shake him and ask him, “WHY WHY WHY???  Why sacrifice your marriage and family for your girlfriend?” 

But I can’t becuase I’ve got my two kids watching my every move, depending on me to be the calm, collective Mama they’ve always depended on.  So, I’m trying my best to pack up all my anger and tears in those boxes along with my belongings, to be dealt with later.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers while our family deal with this mess.

Anne

This site is going on hiatus for a few weeks until things settle down around here.  Without going into much detail, I’m just going to say that life threw me a huge curveball a few months ago and everything kinda hit the fan this last week.  Please be patient…I promise to be back soon.

Thanks,
Anne